Question from a seeker

 

Q1. ABOUT FAITH

 I am relatively new to AOL(only 1 yr)  and I want to be sincere enough to admit that I dont have such GREAT faith in GURUji, as i cant see a bus coming on time for me when i go late to BUS stand as a miracle which i am sure many devotees explained to me as a miracle after coming to AOL, and i want to develop the faith with/without experiencing miracles.

I am just being authentic (as GURU ji asked us to be in one of the talks) and truthful to myself. I dont  feel the urge to run after his car and give him flower. I just dont feel like it and i am really jealous of the people who run behind his car just to give a flower. How can i develop so much love towards GURUji and faith?

A: I feel it is very shallow to see faith as being based solely on “miracles” and that too trivial ones. There is absolutely no need to run after your Guru; in fact usually it is more of a disturbance and an inconvenience to people around, and I am sure no Guru would teach such things.

Q2. About being enlightened

I am relatively new  to AOL and I know GURU ji is wonderful and enlightened after the reading few books of GURUji, but i feel (during satsang sessions, question and answer session) GURUji is providing more of a solace  to people than trying to wake up people to the truth and make them realize and experience the truth. ( I know i may be wrong, but i desperately want to change my opinion) . I know providing solace is important but solace is secondary for me, i want to wake up and realize the truth of life , how can i feel that GURUji wants us to wake up in life to truth rather than just wanting us to be happy.

A: You shd listen to Guruji’s commentaries esp on Patanjali Yoga Sutras, Narada Bhakti Sutras and Ashtavakra Gita; esp Ashtavakra Gita which is literally like a manual to enlightenment

Q3. Advance course during Guruji’s Bday in ashram

 During GURUji’ s bday i did weekly advance course. It was second time i did that course. During First adv course last year when no issues were there in my head. it was wonderful, i could feel sudden change in me. But this time i felt literally nothing.(zero impact on how i feel)

A: Thats absolutely fine. Advance course does its job regardless of what one “feels” (or wants to feel)

Q4. Depressed  during GURUji’s Bday
— I saw thousands of people deperately wanting to touch GURUji and want to talk to GURUji but i dint feel anything like that. I thought i am a defective human being , and went into depression in the ashram room.

How do i develop so much attachment with GURUji whilst being authentic and truthful to myself. ?

A: If having a Guru means desperately trying to touch His feet, even if it means trampling and pushing aside old people and hurting bystanders, then maybe it is better not to have a Guru. I respect each one’s devotion and expression, but it cannot be at the cost of common human decency and courtesy. Being in His presence is certainly very important — thats why we go to satsang — but at the same time following the knowledge will take you much further.

5: Your answers can turn my life and make me fall head over heels in love with GURUji.

A: It really doesnt mattter whether you love your Guru or not — His love for you is total and unequivocal nonetheless. Realizing this, we hv a sense of gratitude and become very relaxed and confident!