This was sent in by my super-cool niece Tarini from Singapore 🙂
It’s 3 o’clock on a hot summer afternoon…
A duck waddles into my neighbourhood convenience store. Looks around. The store clerk, a tough Iranian guy who insists on being called Tosh, does a double take and gapes speechless at the sight of this duck waddling around his store…
Finally, duck waddles over to the counter and craning to look up at Tosh, asks, “Do you have duck foooooooood?”
Tosh, leans over the counter and, not quite believing that he had just been addressed by a bird, says, “Sorry, I don’t carry duck food.”
Duck says, “Oh, ok. Thx.” And waddles out of the store. Tosh gives his head a shake as he tries to assimilate what just happened.
The next day. 3 o’clock.
Duck pushes in through store doors again. Tosh does a double take.
Duck waddles around the aisles and then comes over to the counter and asks, “Do you have duck foooooooood?”
Tosh, answers patiently, “Sorry. I told you yesterday, I don’t carry duck food.”
Ducks says, “Oh, ok. Thx.” And waddles out of the store, leaving Tosh with lips pursed and in deep thought, as he wondered if the little yellow pills he popped with his girlfriend the weekend before were still playing with mind.
The next afternoon. It’s hotter still. The city is sweltering.
3 o’clock and the duck waddles into the the store. Tosh, who’s a big burly guy but of generally a friendly disposition, suddenly looks mean. His eyes follow the duck as it waddles between the aisles, going, ” Hmmmm…. hmmmm… no…. no…. hmmmm…. no…..”
After five minutes of this, duck waddles over and asks again in a pleasant tone, “Do you have duck foooooooood?”
Tosh explodes: “I DON’T CARRY ANY *@*@*#*& DUCK FOOD AND NEXT TIME YOU COME IN HERE ASKING FOR *@*@*&^ DUCK FOOD I’LL NAIL YOUR *@*@*#&* FEET TO THE **##*@* FLOOR!!!!”
Duck looks affronted: “Jeez man, calm down… there’s no call to get so aggravated over a simple enquiry after the availability of duck food in your establishment.” Gives his tail an indignant little flick, sniffs, and waddles out of the store… beak up in the air, disdain dripping on the floor behind him.
BANG AT 3 O’CLOCK, the duck is walking in through the door again…
Tosh’s eyes take on a dangerous glint.
Duck waddles around. Carefully scrutinizes all the goods up and down each aisle in the store for a long while. Tosh is at the counter… jaws working… drumming his fingers…
Finally… duck comes to the counter and asks cheerfully, “Do you have any nails?”
Tosh, taken aback and suddenly deflated, replies, “Uhhhh… no.”
Duck says, “In that case…. do you have any duck food?”
About Vikram Hazra
As Program Director of the International Art of Living Foundation, I travel, teach, sing, smile and serve, and strive to excel as an instrument of His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, whose goal is to put the smile back on every face on this planet.