Vikram Hazra

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You are here: Home / Uncategorized / A bit of banter

A bit of banter

March 2, 2010 by Vikram Hazra 26 Comments





The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. 



As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”. 


In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
  

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. 



In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. 


Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. 


Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. 


By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”. 



During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. 

  

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. 



Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. 


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About Vikram Hazra

As Program Director of the International Art of Living Foundation, I travel, teach, sing, smile and serve, and strive to excel as an instrument of His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, whose goal is to put the smile back on every face on this planet.

Comments

  1. Trinaa says

    March 2, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    Zesus! Zes Zermans I tel yu! 😛

    Reply
  2. Rashmin says

    March 2, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    LOL..that was really funny!!

    Reply
  3. vishal says

    March 2, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    HAHAHAHAHA ………….. had a gud laugh ……..

    Reply
  4. AparnA says

    March 2, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    had real fun reading the post 🙂

    You picked up the Language so fast 🙂

    JGD

    Reply
  5. vibz says

    March 2, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    hahaha… et ez exelent!!

    Reply
  6. Alpesh says

    March 2, 2010 at 9:00 pm

    Well, this post made my head spinning.

    Any breathing teknik or meditashon to kalm it?

    Reply
  7. devang says

    March 2, 2010 at 11:36 pm

    hehehe….pretty clever if the Europeans buy it!

    Reply
  8. sachin chansarkar says

    March 3, 2010 at 3:51 am

    I will better learn……… “Yoruba” Major language of Nigeria with pidgeon english (Which they mix with english) & will stay another few years in Nigeria O…Good O……

    Reply
  9. Balkrishna says

    March 3, 2010 at 9:13 am

    Nice info.dont u think this will further spoil our generation’s knowledge of english which is not very much important.

    jgd

    Reply
  10. Kasturi Shinde says

    March 3, 2010 at 9:59 am

    Zat vas reil reil avsm.I kant stp lufing !

    Buuttt beeing aan IIndiaan I ddoonnt wwannnt too fooollowww ttthhee EC sssoo I wwiill cccontinuee tthhisss wwaayy 🙂

    Reply
  11. Anonymous says

    March 3, 2010 at 11:31 am

    Nice One!!

    Reply
  12. ARCHIT says

    March 3, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    very nice post bhaiyya……thnx

    Reply
  13. Bhairavi Parag says

    March 3, 2010 at 3:11 pm

    Veri fani! Laf out laud!

    Reply
  14. Anand Jage says

    March 5, 2010 at 9:18 am

    This is a mix of German-French-English… sounds cool!!!!

    Reply
  15. King says

    March 7, 2010 at 9:08 am

    haha nice one Vikramji!

    Reply
  16. sp says

    March 7, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    this is hilarious. english language is believed to have developed from an older form of german, and its interesting to see how it can ‘go back’ to its roots with a few changes in sound.

    Reply
  17. Monika says

    March 7, 2010 at 7:37 pm

    May be, I can already read ze German,except ze last line, though unable to write the Euro english. It was fun reading und dizcuvring the new language.

    Reply
  18. Monika says

    March 7, 2010 at 7:47 pm

    May be , I can read German except the last few words. it was fun dizcuvring the new talent.

    Reply
  19. uday says

    March 8, 2010 at 12:11 pm

    awesome post:)

    Reply
  20. Nitin Dawar says

    March 10, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    bhaiya you are just master of words:)

    Reply
  21. saket says

    March 14, 2010 at 9:03 pm

    Absolutly hilarios Vikram … too good.
    Saket Kakkar

    Reply
  22. Abhi says

    March 29, 2010 at 12:41 am

    🙂

    Reply
  23. TRat says

    April 16, 2010 at 1:13 am

    LOL.. this is one of the funniest things I’ve read on the net! Am posting this as a note to my FB so the msg spreads.

    Reply
  24. vinod says

    April 29, 2010 at 10:47 am

    This is great fun…. 🙂

    Reply
  25. Sunil Kumar says

    April 29, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    kool

    Reply
  26. Dishi says

    June 5, 2010 at 9:03 am

    hehehe

    Reply

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